LITANY OF SILLY BANDS All you silly bands in Silly Band Land, play for us. Balding Heads, play for us. Boom Box Babies, play for us. Critical Grapefruit, play for us. Deficit Spenders, play for us. Dislocated Fingers, play for us. Draconian Measures, play for us. Even...
MEDICAL ATTENTION I said, Doctor, I’m not feeling the slightest bit sick, She said, That’s just your body playing a trick! Take two of these twice a day, Plus, one of the purple and three of the grey. If you’re free of symptoms after six months pass, We’ll...
TOO THIS TOO THAT Too smart, too dumb, Too sharp, too numb. Too meek, too bold, Too hot, too cold. Too wet, too dry, Too simple, too sly. Too fanciful, too realistic, Too devout, too atheistic. Too talkative, too taciturn, Too early to meet, too late to adjourn. For...
CRUNCH TIME BUNGLER With a last-second shot on goal, I launched a one-timer at the five hole. The puck hit the ref square on the chin … It wasn’t us who got the win. My two-foot putt to take the match Rolled off the green into a briar patch. With the bases loaded I...
I WANT MY MONEY BACK Out seventy bucks for a steak at the track, It wasn’t a meal; it was barely a snack. Hey waiter, I want my money back. They sold me drugs to sandblast my plaque, Wound up in the ICU with a heart attack. Hey doctor, I want my money back. I...
