THE SNOWMAN Here I sit Frozen in space Slowly melting. I will leave no trace. Golf ball eyes Such a terrible choice No contrast at all To my teetering head of snow and ice. How wretchedly dull My carrot nose. A rusty harmonica keeps my mouth Perpetually idiotically...
FUNNY MONEY Whoever invented our legal tender Must have done so On a weekend bender. Our money, you see, Rests on debt, not equity. Thus our money’s worth less Whenever the U.S. Mint Fires up the printing press. They say that money Won’t grow on trees, But...
TOPSY-TURVY TIME I smelled a noise That hurt my nose I felt a sight That tickled my toes. I ate a plate That tasted nice, Then took a nap On a bed of rice. I woke for a walk And tripped on a star, Then sat on a cloud That crushed my car. I closed my umbrella When it...
SOFT I am too soft for the world. Lacking lies, Devoid of disguise To escape the truth That I simply don’t care About an eye for an eye Or a tooth for a tooth. When the cheek turns easily, Is it cowardice or morality? I had the one before the other, Before my...
BEWARE THE IDEAS OF MARCH Winter came And winter went Like the rock-hard fruitcake Aunt Ethel sent. When at long last dear Spring arrived, Hope seemed sure to come alive. Yes, life would be a glorious rhyme With the coming of daylight saving time. But there’s an...
